Warning this is not for the faint of heart.
Basically I am a pissed person, who even on the best of days is still a seemingly emotionless bitch. And not the kind of bitch, that every girl says they are are because they think it makes their bullshit excusable. No I am a real bitch, the kind of bitch that people were before it became cool to be a bitch. I mean everything I am about to say, and I will not apologize for anything I have learned about this world. Keep that in mind. And the anger I am experiencing does not mean that I am not thinking rationally. I absolutely am! This just means that I am a bitch and it is nothing for me to say these things. Or to hear your responses.
Ok now that the disclaimer has been read I will get to it. I think that probably about 90% of the population is completely spineless sell-outs, who convince themselves they are real people while in actually they are only a result of their surroundings and a product of the people the "love". Now would be the time to elaborate.
I am not completely heartless and I do understand that people are often deserving of a second chance. I believe in forgiveness. But forgiveness is not meant to be given to anyone and everyone every time they do something. And believe it or not some things are UNFORGIVABLE. And their is no relationship known to mankind that within its inner workings makes it an ironclad forgiveness machine. By this I mean that just because said asshole is your sister or your mother or daughter or son, or what have you does not mean that you just have to forgive everything they ever do. and live in this world where every inexplicable action of betrayal and deviant neglect can just to glazed over at a family picnic and transformed into the picture perfect candy coated relationship you had before.
And I know I will hear that sometimes you love your mother or what have you and that is why you get past it because that person is just too vital to your survival to be forgotten about. Well to this I will respond that this person because they are more special to you gets more flexible forgiveness. This is common knowledge you will take more shit from you family than you will anyone else you know. But my friends, flexible does not mean unbreakable. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN UNBREAKABLE RELATIONSHIP.
Which brings me back to my central thesis here. People are spineless products of their surroundings. People will forgive and forgive and forgive everything. Wives stay with husbands who beat their children. Husbands stay with wives who mistreat their own children. And couples stay together despite obvious ongoing infidelity on both fronts.
When you "forgive" things you haven't truly forgiven or ever truly understood, you are changing yourself. You bite your tongues when around these people because you cannot show you still hate them for what they have done. You avoid certain topics of conversation. You lie, you cheat, you neglect those who know that truth. You talk to everyone else about why you hate this person, but to this person you are cool, cordial and the face of forgiveness and understanding.
Why? Well you paint the picture anyway you want but it is because you are afraid. Spineless. You don't have the strength to make this person pay for their wrongs. You are terrified of having to live without them, possibly because you have had this toxic relationship (sister, husband, friend) for so long that it has defined you. You are a product of your surroundings and no longer know who you are. As an individual. You just can't stand up for yourself, even when you know you should.
So thus our world is full of bitter people all pretending to have forgiven these people and harboring their hate and passing it on. And then those of us who aren't spineless. we are seen are seemingly emotionless bitches. And not the cool kind. The kind who are seen as negative nasty little things who just like to hold on the hate and negativity. When in reality we are the only people in this fucked up world being true to ourselves.
I urge you to look at your relationship. And ask yourself, what's your price. Where is your line or no return?
